








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 925 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 797 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2440 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5627 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6183 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4746 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,755,126 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 50% | 195 |
| #2 | Lou | 49% | 124 |
| #3 | Big Diesel | 48% | 193 |
| #4 | Knight | 48% | 345 |
| #5 | LKEddie | 47% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 50% | 195 |
| #2 | Lou | 49% | 124 |
| #3 | Big Diesel | 48% | 193 |
| #4 | Knight | 48% | 345 |
| #5 | LKEddie | 47% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knight | 26 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | LKEddie | 22 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Big Diesel | 19 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Jake | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Lou | 15 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knight | 927 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | LKEddie | 787 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | Jake | 295 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Lou | 158 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Big Diesel | 155 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knight | +1.31 | 68 | 45 |
| #2 | 𒉠Полубог 𒉠| +0.29 | 44 | 40 |
| #3 | LKEddie | +0.06 | 46 | 65 |
| #4 | Lou | -0.06 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Big Diesel | -0.47 | 66 | 35 |





