








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2847 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3754 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3685 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3135 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,226 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xarnoc | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Jake | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | ryan | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | QuezIsGodly | 53% | 70 |
| #5 | pcarry | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pcarry | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | Big Diesel | 50% | 121 |
| #7 | Lou | 48% | 75 |
| #8 | LKEddie | 48% | 126 |
| #9 | 𒉭 Полубог 𒉭 | 48% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𒉭 Полубог 𒉭 | 53 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | LKEddie | 15 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Big Diesel | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Lou | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Jake | 7 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LKEddie | 562 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | 𒉭 Полубог 𒉭 | 455 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | QuezIsGodly | 195 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jake | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Big Diesel | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knight | +1.08 | 67 | 42 |
| #2 | QuezIsGodly | +0.78 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | xarnoc | +0.73 | 42 | 43 |
| #4 | LKEddie | -0.23 | 47 | 65 |
| #5 | pcarry | -0.26 | 67 | 59 |





