










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 32% |
| Smokes | 313 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 37 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 230 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,875 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | þïrå†êM円36 | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | FatherEpic | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | 1neJay | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Slawdawg | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | þïrå†êM円36 | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | FatherEpic | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | 1neJay | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Slawdawg | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | Connor Cox | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 12 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | Slawdawg | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | 1neJay | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | FatherEpic | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Connor Cox | 2 | 0.0202 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slawdawg | 207 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | 7o | 94 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | 1neJay | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | FatherEpic | 38 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Connor Cox | 21 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | +5.79 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | þïrå†êM円36 | +3.73 | 61 | 43 |
| #3 | Connor Cox | +3.16 | 94 | 32 |
| #4 | 1neJay | +1.60 | 72 | 48 |
| #5 | Grieg69 | -2.47 | 23 | 30 |





