








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 496 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2285 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1902 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 717 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 802 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,870 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyp3r | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | 7o | 59% | 157 |
| #3 | Connor Cox | 58% | 132 |
| #4 | 1neJay | 51% | 183 |
| #5 | AkaMachina | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 1neJay | 51% | 183 |
| #5 | AkaMachina | 47% | 75 |
| #6 | FatherEpic | 46% | 140 |
| #7 | Grieg69 | 44% | 71 |
| #8 | carpetdemon | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 73 | 0.0238 |
| #2 | Connor Cox | 44 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | FatherEpic | 25 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | 1neJay | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | AkaMachina | 11 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor Cox | 493 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | 7o | 449 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | 1neJay | 306 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | FatherEpic | 214 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | AkaMachina | 134 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyp3r | +8.68 | 72 | 42 |
| #2 | Connor Cox | +7.09 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | 7o | +5.55 | 93 | 58 |
| #4 | 1neJay | +1.10 | 72 | 46 |
| #5 | AkaMachina | +0.55 | 46 | 48 |





