








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 582 | 29% |
| Smokes | 218 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 706 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,367 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1neJay | 45% | 20 |
| #2 | Connor Cox | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | War Kitty | 43% | 68 |
| #4 | Slawdawg | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | FatherEpic | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Connor Cox | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | War Kitty | 43% | 68 |
| #4 | Slawdawg | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | FatherEpic | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | 7o | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 11 | 0.0261 |
| #2 | War Kitty | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Connor Cox | 7 | 0.0217 |
| #4 | FatherEpic | 3 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | 1neJay | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | War Kitty | 372 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | 7o | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Connor Cox | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Slawdawg | 55 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1neJay | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor Cox | +7.03 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | 7o | +3.44 | 94 | 51 |
| #3 | War Kitty | +2.29 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | 1neJay | -0.07 | 78 | 45 |
| #5 | þïrå†êM円36 | -1.74 | 49 | 28 |





