








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




180 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5395 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4846 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4698 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5113 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,107,576 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 918 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slawdawg | 59% | 157 |
| #2 | Hyp3r | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | ScoobX | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | Connor Cox | 57% | 308 |
| #5 | Yakub | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ./ BurneyProMod | 54% | 65 |
| #8 | 1neJay | 53% | 271 |
| #9 | M0B | 52% | 79 |
| #10 | FatherEpic | 50% | 218 |
| #11 | AkaMachina | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor Cox | 97 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | FatherEpic | 40 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | 1neJay | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Slawdawg | 17 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | AkaMachina | 17 | 0.0145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor Cox | 1088 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | 1neJay | 399 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Slawdawg | 381 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | M0B | 345 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | FatherEpic | 301 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor Cox | +4.38 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | 7o | +3.22 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | ꜱʟɪɴᴋ | +2.41 | 88 | 62 |
| #4 | Yakub | +0.86 | 80 | 45 |
| #5 | Hyp3r | +0.84 | 68 | 51 |





