








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 719 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3184 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3493 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2540 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,384,730 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor Cox | 54% | 195 |
| #2 | 7o | 53% | 271 |
| #3 | Slawdawg | 51% | 183 |
| #4 | Grieg69 | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | spragouu | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Collision | 48% | 29 |
| #7 | FatherEpic | 45% | 191 |
| #8 | AkaMachina | 44% | 97 |
| #9 | turqii | 44% | 41 |
| #10 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 125 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | Connor Cox | 68 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | FatherEpic | 37 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Slawdawg | 20 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | AkaMachina | 16 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7o | 797 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | Connor Cox | 740 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | Slawdawg | 468 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | FatherEpic | 264 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 246 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor Cox | +5.97 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | 7o | +4.90 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | turqii | +1.44 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | Collision | +1.40 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | 1neJay | -0.01 | 75 | 45 |





