








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 613 matches | ||
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Esplay | 55 matches | 1,706 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8894 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10058 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 10257 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7481 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,976,357 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | 53% | 231 |
| #2 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 52% | 192 |
| #3 | nobo | 51% | 63 |
| #4 | Jirof | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | CoffeeAddict [PC after 8 years] | 50% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jirof | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | CoffeeAddict [PC after 8 years] | 50% | 232 |
| #6 | Sakarikaulaote | 46% | 283 |
| #7 | Jsnap | 43% | 67 |
| #8 | Bruce Silvio | 43% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Sakarikaulaote | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ♿ | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Jirof | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | CoffeeAddict [PC after 8 years] | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakarikaulaote | 583 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 404 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | CoffeeAddict [PC after 8 years] | 365 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | ♿ | 291 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jirof | 262 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | +3.29 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Turvakypärä Samuel | +0.77 | 56 | 66 |
| #3 | Tukezu | +0.11 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | Bruce Silvio | -0.24 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | Jirof | -0.39 | 30 | 72 |





