








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1091 matches | ||
| Esplay | 24 matches | 1,662 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10408 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7281 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 10650 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9477 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,320,749 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1005 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dallas | 58% | 73 |
| #2 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 50% | 226 |
| #3 | Seiska | 48% | 97 |
| #4 | nobo | 47% | 257 |
| #5 | Tukezu | 46% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nobo | 47% | 257 |
| #5 | Tukezu | 46% | 283 |
| #6 | ♿ | 46% | 190 |
| #7 | CoffeeAddict [PC after 8 years] | 46% | 79 |
| #8 | Bruce Silvio | 43% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Tukezu | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | nobo | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ♿ | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Seiska | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tukezu | 604 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | nobo | 457 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 437 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Seiska | 273 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♿ | 224 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | +3.08 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | Turvakypärä Samuel | +0.60 | 56 | 66 |
| #3 | Tukezu | +0.49 | 59 | 60 |
| #4 | Bruce Silvio | +0.40 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | Dallas | -0.29 | 41 | 68 |





