








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 623 matches | ||
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7068 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5145 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 10749 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 9386 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,477,583 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3038 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | 68% | 68 |
| #2 | Mansikka | 57% | 118 |
| #3 | uolevi | 56% | 174 |
| #4 | Tukezu | 52% | 192 |
| #5 | ♿ | 51% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ♿ | 51% | 81 |
| #6 | Sakarikaulaote | 50% | 226 |
| #7 | ♿ | 49% | 276 |
| #8 | Bruce Silvio | 45% | 55 |
| #9 | nobo | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | uolevi | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ♿ | 13 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | ♿ | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Tukezu | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakarikaulaote | 452 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | ♿ | 385 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | Tukezu | 346 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | uolevi | 221 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bruce Silvio | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | +6.22 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | ♿ | +3.67 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | ♿ | +2.62 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | Turvakypärä Samuel | +1.24 | 61 | 65 |
| #5 | Bruce Silvio | -0.14 | 64 | 65 |





