








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 752 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8643 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9148 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9997 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6127 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,445 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heji | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | NakkiS | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | nobo | 53% | 159 |
| #4 | Kimorasa | 51% | 187 |
| #5 | Tukezu | 50% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nobo | 53% | 159 |
| #4 | Kimorasa | 51% | 187 |
| #5 | Tukezu | 50% | 82 |
| #6 | Kääpeli Vörmy | 41% | 61 |
| #7 | Sakarikaulaote | 38% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimorasa | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Tukezu | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | nobo | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sakarikaulaote | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Kääpeli Vörmy | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimorasa | 321 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | nobo | 287 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Tukezu | 182 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kääpeli Vörmy | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sakarikaulaote | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimorasa | +4.04 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | NakkiS | +2.18 | 55 | 68 |
| #3 | Kääpeli Vörmy | +0.11 | 28 | 74 |
| #4 | Tukezu | +0.01 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Jirof | -0.49 | 33 | 71 |





