










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 353 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10284 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10577 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8559 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6921 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,102 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simen | 64% | 133 |
| #2 | fezzer | 58% | 289 |
| #3 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 55% | 244 |
| #4 | sm|Nt | 55% | 583 |
| #5 | Sega | 54% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sm|Nt | 55% | 583 |
| #5 | Sega | 54% | 231 |
| #6 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 53% | 129 |
| #7 | Gloomski | 50% | 234 |
| #8 | xof | 50% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Sega | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Simen | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | sm|Nt | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloomski | 620 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 607 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 541 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | sm|Nt | 379 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | fezzer | 296 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | +3.93 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | fezzer | +2.20 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | xof | +1.07 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | +1.07 | 67 | 73 |
| #5 | Sega | +0.99 | 64 | 48 |





