








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1789 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3992 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4392 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2484 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,104,950 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xof | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | fezzer | 57% | 72 |
| #3 | Simen | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 54% | 231 |
| #5 | sm|Nt | 53% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Simen | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 54% | 231 |
| #5 | sm|Nt | 53% | 230 |
| #6 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 53% | 85 |
| #7 | Gloomski | 53% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Simen | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | sm|Nt | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | Gloomski | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 640 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Gloomski | 308 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 217 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | sm|Nt | 154 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Simen | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | +3.75 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | xof | +1.89 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | fezzer | +1.85 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | Sega | +0.99 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | +0.92 | 67 | 73 |





