








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 336 matches | ||
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3725 | 12% |
| Smokes | 9724 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8682 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 10116 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,495,561 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simen | 64% | 144 |
| #2 | fezzer | 56% | 213 |
| #3 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 55% | 106 |
| #4 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 55% | 583 |
| #5 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 54% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 55% | 583 |
| #5 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 54% | 180 |
| #6 | Sega | 53% | 230 |
| #7 | Gloomski | 52% | 329 |
| #8 | xof | 52% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 28 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Gloomski | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Simen | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Sega | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 1607 | 0.13 | 42 min |
| #2 | Gloomski | 999 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 461 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 449 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | xof | 233 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | +4.43 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | fezzer | +2.25 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | +1.28 | 68 | 73 |
| #4 | xof | +1.22 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | Sega | +0.90 | 64 | 49 |





