








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 226 matches | ||
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,898 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3180 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5425 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5086 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4608 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,628,783 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 58% | 157 |
| #2 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 58% | 289 |
| #3 | Sega | 57% | 72 |
| #4 | sm|Nt | 56% | 213 |
| #5 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sm|Nt | 56% | 213 |
| #5 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 49% | 67 |
| #6 | xof | 48% | 91 |
| #7 | Gloomski | 44% | 70 |
| #8 | Hargcore | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sega | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | sm|Nt | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | xof | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 666 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 380 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 263 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gloomski | 187 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | xof | 183 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | +3.50 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | fezzer | +1.71 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Sega | +0.77 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | xof | +0.57 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | -0.12 | 63 | 74 |





