








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2182 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2744 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3002 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2254 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,199 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simen | 75% | 28 |
| #2 | fezzer | 58% | 157 |
| #3 | (❛ ͜ʖ ❛) Braekke | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 55% | 244 |
| #5 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 55% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 55% | 53 |
| #6 | sm|Nt | 54% | 180 |
| #7 | Sega | 53% | 85 |
| #8 | xof | 50% | 46 |
| #9 | Gloomski | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | sm|Nt | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Sega | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | (❛ ͜ʖ ❛) Braekke | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | fezzer | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 551 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Fisletut.Bolenz | 217 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | fezzer | 200 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gloomski | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | sm|Nt | 104 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | +3.83 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | fezzer | +1.52 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | Simen | +0.63 | 46 | 53 |
| #4 | xof | +0.38 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | Sega | +0.14 | 65 | 48 |





