








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 235 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 527 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1831 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 802 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 639 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,499,578 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGooose69 | 63% | 75 |
| #2 | Jah | 51% | 57 |
| #3 | Jorgen Von Strangle | 49% | 241 |
| #4 | Oops! I whiffed | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | deB | 48% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | deB | 48% | 91 |
| #6 | BigSperc | 46% | 61 |
| #7 | Coy Ahoy | 44% | 50 |
| #8 | Kiss God 64 | 43% | 44 |
| #9 | Gay Little Monkey | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigSperc | 28 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | Jorgen Von Strangle | 24 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Gay Little Monkey | 16 | 0.0145 |
| #4 | deB | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | TheGooose69 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deB | 802 | 0.41 | 22 min |
| #2 | Jah | 151 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kiss God 64 | 85 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheGooose69 | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Oops! I whiffed | 56 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oops! I whiffed | +7.56 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | Jah | +1.54 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | TheGooose69 | +0.37 | 61 | 42 |
| #4 | Coy Ahoy | +0.15 | 38 | 42 |
| #5 | Jorgen Von Strangle | +0.04 | 48 | 24 |





