








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 854 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2685 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6365 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 3453 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1154 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,543,475 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ohsosleazy | 63% | 75 |
| #2 | The Limo | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | Coy Ahoy | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | lemon | 50% | 60 |
| #5 | ✪NLK2123✪ | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lemon | 46% | 149 |
| #10 | deB | 46% | 204 |
| #11 | Gr3ml1n | 45% | 77 |
| #12 | Benny | 45% | 185 |
| #13 | Jah | 41% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jah | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | TheNaughtyPantsler | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Benny | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ohsosleazy | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | deB | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deB | 1586 | 0.37 | 50 min |
| #2 | TheNaughtyPantsler | 668 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | Jah | 333 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | The Limo | 231 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Gr3ml1n | 206 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪NLK2123✪ | +2.51 | 51 | 57 |
| #2 | ohsosleazy | +0.44 | 70 | 18 |
| #3 | Benny | +0.20 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | HighMommie | +0.20 | 44 | 35 |
| #5 | TheGooose69 | +0.08 | 50 | 44 |





