








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 69,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 25683 | 37% |
| Smokes | 25777 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 8473 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 9918 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,071,911 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3RCENARY6 | 56% | 79 |
| #2 | Gr3ml1n | 53% | 126 |
| #3 | HighMommie | 52% | 105 |
| #4 | Shaman_ | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | TheNaughtyPantsler | 49% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | lemon | 46% | 271 |
| #11 | TheGooose69 | 46% | 204 |
| #12 | Jah | 44% | 271 |
| #13 | Lemon | 44% | 176 |
| #14 | Kiss God 64 | 40% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jah | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | lemon | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | TheNaughtyPantsler | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | TheGooose69 | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Gr3ml1n | 8 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheNaughtyPantsler | 1128 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #2 | lemon | 640 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | Jah | 628 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | Gr3ml1n | 358 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Kiss God 64 | 246 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaman_ | +4.10 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | M3RCENARY6 | +0.87 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | deB | +0.28 | 33 | 76 |
| #4 | Jah | +0.23 | 45 | 54 |
| #5 | HighMommie | +0.05 | 39 | 37 |





