








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1526 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2682 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1494 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2268 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,061,771 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oll | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Monki | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 57% | 156 |
| #4 | kyöstib | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | osumaslayer | 51% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osumaslayer | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | beenman | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Erska | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Monki | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osumaslayer | 533 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | arabikemali | 241 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 211 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Erska | 173 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | beenman | 159 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oll | +2.91 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | beenman | +2.89 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | osumaslayer | +2.55 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | angry | +1.72 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | tamago | +1.15 | 64 | 70 |





