








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 473 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5089 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7318 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4965 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4895 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,630,175 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monki | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | trapezoid | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | Jutaami | 55% | 107 |
| #4 | FaZe allu | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | pro.bolboquic | 51% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | tamago | 46% | 151 |
| #13 | Erska | 46% | 234 |
| #14 | kyöstib | 45% | 114 |
| #15 | WindyWalk | 45% | 47 |
| #16 | frumppppppppppi | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pro.bolboquic | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | beenman | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Erska | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | tamago | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angry | 890 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | Erska | 678 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | beenman | 654 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #4 | Jutaami | 493 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #5 | tamago | 428 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beenman | +1.81 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | Jutaami | +1.67 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | osumaslayer | +1.31 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | angry | +1.17 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | tamago | +0.54 | 64 | 69 |





