








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 990 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 459 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5649 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5902 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6597 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5319 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,905,645 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZe allu | 59% | 158 |
| #2 | sugus | 57% | 112 |
| #3 | tamago | 57% | 221 |
| #4 | trapezoid | 56% | 164 |
| #5 | Jutaami | 55% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 50% | 118 |
| #10 | arabikemali | 47% | 108 |
| #11 | osumaslayer | 46% | 234 |
| #12 | WindyWalk | 45% | 74 |
| #13 | kyöstib | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tamago | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Jutaami | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | arabikemali | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | kyöstib | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | beenman | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angry | 935 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | beenman | 721 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #3 | tamago | 560 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | osumaslayer | 475 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | Jutaami | 441 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jutaami | +1.40 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | beenman | +1.26 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | angry | +1.09 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | tamago | +0.80 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | Erska | +0.40 | 69 | 71 |





