








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1493 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1136 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1135 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 771 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,875 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oll | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Monki | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | sugus | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | pro.bolboquic | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Oddy | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | pro.bolboquic | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Erska | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | oll | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osumaslayer | 320 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Erska | 137 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | arabikemali | 122 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | beenman | 120 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tamago | +2.83 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | Jutaami | +2.52 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | beenman | +2.37 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | osumaslayer | +2.13 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | oll | +2.00 | 69 | 68 |





