








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1506 | 33% |
| Smokes | 504 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1280 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1279 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,062 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evgenij | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Bierhals♿ | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | DanielSu | 60% | 65 |
| #4 | Nateee57 | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nateee57 | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | MelvinFu | 45% | 85 |
| #8 | Vaves | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelvinFu | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | DanielSu | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Bierhals♿ | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelvinFu | 201 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | DanielSu | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bierhals♿ | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 31 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1sky | +2.54 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | DML | therealHoLaDna | +2.33 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Evgenij | +1.96 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | Bierhals♿ | +1.23 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | DanielSu | +1.18 | 86 | 47 |





