








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 247 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1950 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2199 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2939 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1208 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,963 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1sky | 60% | 65 |
| #2 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 57% | 89 |
| #3 | CJay | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | Bierhals♿ | 54% | 76 |
| #5 | MelvinFu | 50% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1sky | 60% | 65 |
| #2 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 57% | 89 |
| #3 | CJay | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | Bierhals♿ | 54% | 76 |
| #5 | MelvinFu | 50% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelvinFu | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Bierhals♿ | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | R1sky | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | CJay | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelvinFu | 478 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 207 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bierhals♿ | 194 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | R1sky | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | CJay | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DML | therealHoLaDna | +2.66 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | DanielSu | +0.71 | 83 | 44 |
| #3 | R1sky | +0.69 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | CJay | +0.68 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | MelvinFu | -0.63 | 76 | 48 |





