








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2383 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2900 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2704 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1752 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,267 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nateee57 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Bierhals♿ | 57% | 115 |
| #3 | DanielSu | 57% | 89 |
| #4 | MelvinFu | 54% | 147 |
| #5 | R1sky | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bierhals♿ | 57% | 115 |
| #3 | DanielSu | 57% | 89 |
| #4 | MelvinFu | 54% | 147 |
| #5 | R1sky | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | CJay | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelvinFu | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Bierhals♿ | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | DanielSu | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | CJay | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Nateee57 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelvinFu | 367 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Bierhals♿ | 301 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | CJay | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | DanielSu | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | R1sky | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DML | therealHoLaDna | +3.42 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | DanielSu | +0.63 | 86 | 47 |
| #3 | CJay | +0.21 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | MelvinFu | -0.68 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | Bierhals♿ | -1.01 | 79 | 65 |





