








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4974 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4468 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4317 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2792 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,007 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | իоuz . to✗ | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Evgenij | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | R1sky | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Apclps | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Perpf | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Apclps | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Perpf | 39% | 31 |
| #6 | koi | 37% | 19 |
| #7 | Lucky Luck | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | John Pillermann | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evgenij | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | John Pillermann | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Perpf | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Apclps | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | R1sky | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apclps | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | R1sky | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Evgenij | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lucky Luck | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | John Pillermann | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1sky | +4.57 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | Lucky Luck | +3.89 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | koi | +2.06 | 72 | 75 |
| #4 | Apclps | +1.92 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | իоuz . to✗ | +1.80 | 56 | 67 |





