








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4862 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3619 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3640 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3428 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,300,307 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 57% | 115 |
| #2 | DanielSu | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | MelvinFu | 53% | 146 |
| #4 | rud1 | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | fr1day | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 21 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | MelvinFu | 19 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | CJay | 16 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | fr1day | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | DanielSu | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJay | 443 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | MelvinFu | 443 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | DML | therealHoLaDna | 280 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | fr1day | 260 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | rud1 | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DML | therealHoLaDna | +3.61 | 90 | 74 |
| #2 | fr1day | +1.92 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | CJay | +1.57 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | DanielSu | +0.89 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | HunterMcN | -0.16 | 61 | 56 |





