








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6901 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7581 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3681 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3242 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,857,676 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 67% | 58 |
| #2 | notAustin | 60% | 57 |
| #3 | type shit | 59% | 54 |
| #4 | kx | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | chipper412 | 53% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Will | 30 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | MustardGas | 17 | 0.0211 |
| #3 | egoist | 16 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | retard | 15 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 12 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Hot Man #3 | 516 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | chipper412 | 497 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #3 | shfty | 361 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | egoist | 267 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | GrayshaValor | 237 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | +4.90 | 91 | 30 |
| #2 | chipper412 | +3.87 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | egoist | +2.44 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | Femboy Will | +2.28 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | notAustin | +1.67 | 52 | 52 |





