








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1755 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1512 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 348 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,648 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uzi | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | _Ex0dus_ | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | bonsai | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | VLADMIR PUTIN | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Pandaa_Man | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Spawned In | 49% | 45 |
| #14 | ᶜᵒᵐʳᵃᵈᵉ ᵐⁱˡᵏ | 47% | 32 |
| #15 | Tread | 40% | 10 |
| #16 | retraC | 39% | 23 |
| #17 | Maltzz | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woodzy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Maltzz | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Tread | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Cain? | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Pandaa_Man | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 123 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | BounDie | 110 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Woodzy | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Spawned In | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ᶜᵒᵐʳᵃᵈᵉ ᵐⁱˡᵏ | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VLADMIR PUTIN | +4.65 | 77 | 36 |
| #2 | uzi | +3.05 | 76 | 36 |
| #3 | Woodzy | +2.74 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | PotatoePeeker TTV | +2.58 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | retraC | +1.14 | 82 | 57 |





