








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 192 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2094 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1235 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1472 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1831 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,668 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkjug | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | ᶜᵒᵐʳᵃᵈᵉ ᵐⁱˡᵏ | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Fex | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | uzi | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Makoto | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Bless | 41% | 27 |
| #11 | Spawned In | 40% | 25 |
| #12 | Cain? | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 33% | 15 |
| #14 | пиздец | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BounDie | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Cain? | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | bender | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BounDie | 215 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Fex | 171 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | uzi | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | retraC | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bless | 103 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkjug | +6.14 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | Cain? | +1.68 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Woodzy | +1.62 | 82 | 45 |
| #4 | uzi | +1.18 | 83 | 48 |
| #5 | retraC | -0.09 | 85 | 50 |





