








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1017 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5811 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5369 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4208 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3847 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,680,222 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spawned In | 53% | 73 |
| #2 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | givER | 52% | 176 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | 51% | 202 |
| #5 | Fex | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | givER | 52% | 176 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | 51% | 202 |
| #5 | Fex | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | 𐂃𐂃 | 39% | 33 |
| #7 | _Ex0dus_ | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 32 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Big Sketty Steppa | 25 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Spawned In | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | 𐂃𐂃 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 784 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | Big Sketty Steppa | 510 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Spawned In | 125 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fex | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | _Ex0dus_ | 90 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotatoePeeker TTV | +1.61 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | _Ex0dus_ | +1.49 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | givER | +0.98 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Fex | +0.72 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | CarlJustANormalGuy | -0.20 | 43 | 41 |





