








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 582 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5265 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9709 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5561 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7741 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,358,876 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 473 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | TheBonk | 46% | 114 |
| #13 | BounDie | 46% | 313 |
| #14 | пиздец | 46% | 65 |
| #15 | Woodzy | 42% | 52 |
| #16 | Hangry Pepe | 39% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillJoy | +2.27 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | Woodzy | +1.98 | 82 | 45 |
| #3 | Dank Dill | +1.05 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | retraC | +0.88 | 88 | 56 |
| #5 | TheBonk | +0.34 | 68 | 72 |





