








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 413 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3404 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3646 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3100 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3607 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,993,508 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2755 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trippy | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Makoto | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | ᶜᵒᵐʳᵃᵈᵉ ᵐⁱˡᵏ | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | VLADMIR PUTIN | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Fex | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Corb | 50% | 34 |
| #11 | Woodzy | 48% | 84 |
| #12 | retraC | 46% | 313 |
| #13 | пиздец | 45% | 77 |
| #14 | TheBonk | 37% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woodzy | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | retraC | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #3 | bender | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Tread | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Makoto | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retraC | 499 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | TheBonk | 390 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | Woodzy | 289 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fex | 222 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tread | 186 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woodzy | +1.66 | 81 | 45 |
| #2 | ᶜᵒᵐʳᵃᵈᵉ ᵐⁱˡᵏ | +1.45 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | VLADMIR PUTIN | +1.30 | 82 | 47 |
| #4 | retraC | +0.88 | 86 | 54 |
| #5 | Tread | +0.64 | 68 | 67 |





