








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1167 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2177 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1140 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 725 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,724 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | MIST | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Son of Chad | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Inerz | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Too Much Sauce | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | KABOOSE | 50% | 26 |
| #11 | FreedomByrd | 48% | 23 |
| #12 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 48% | 88 |
| #13 | roman13521 | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | Captain Jack Sparrow | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | J_Beach5 | 6 | 0.0186 |
| #3 | GoDz Sparks | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 3 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | KABOOSE | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 491 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | KABOOSE | 145 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | Inerz | 120 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | J_Beach5 | 112 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #5 | rabb1t | 57 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rabb1t | +3.38 | 50 | 75 |
| #2 | Too Much Sauce | +2.46 | 52 | 47 |
| #3 | Son of Chad | +1.14 | 41 | 65 |
| #4 | Inerz | +1.14 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Ethan | +1.01 | 53 | 47 |





