








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 552 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1144 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1641 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1526 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,000 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bungus | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Ethan | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Inerz | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Ace SRT | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | rabb1t | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | R3NEGADE | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | GoDz Sparks | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Inerz | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tabernackjaques | 322 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 305 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 218 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | rabb1t | 137 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Inerz | 134 | 0.26 | 3 min |





