








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 463 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9135 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9044 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5174 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3892 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,885 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inerz | 56% | 124 |
| #2 | GoDz Sparks | 56% | 113 |
| #3 | smokedog3690 | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | N1CKz1991 | 52% | 220 |
| #5 | J_Beach5 | 50% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | tabernackjaques | 45% | 165 |
| #13 | rabb1t | 44% | 151 |
| #14 | Big Bungus | 41% | 56 |
| #15 | KABOOSE | 41% | 49 |
| #16 | SIR. Ronald, Speaking | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 24 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Writtey Dawg Water | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | tabernackjaques | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | R3NEGADE | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | SIR. Ronald, Speaking | 8 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inerz | 696 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #2 | J_Beach5 | 689 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #3 | tabernackjaques | 592 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | rabb1t | 585 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #5 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 564 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace SRT | +4.33 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | rabb1t | +2.48 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | GoDz Sparks | +2.23 | 56 | 38 |
| #4 | J_Beach5 | +2.23 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | Writtey Dawg Water | +2.21 | 80 | 25 |





