








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6045 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7104 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5051 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4744 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,545,253 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1000 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | 54% | 157 |
| #2 | rynoh | 54% | 214 |
| #3 | xCactusgod23x | 51% | 173 |
| #4 | yarp | 50% | 465 |
| #5 | jaybird | 45% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rynoh | 54% | 214 |
| #3 | xCactusgod23x | 51% | 173 |
| #4 | yarp | 50% | 465 |
| #5 | jaybird | 45% | 229 |
| #6 | onlystonei | 41% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 26 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | rynoh | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Hedge | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | onlystonei | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | xCactusgod23x | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 2816 | 0.30 | 67 min |
| #2 | rynoh | 883 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | Hedge | 513 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | xCactusgod23x | 410 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | onlystonei | 306 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | +3.57 | 48 | 56 |
| #2 | yarp | +2.46 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | rynoh | +0.32 | 44 | 28 |
| #4 | xCactusgod23x | -0.28 | 25 | 36 |
| #5 | jaybird | -0.92 | 38 | 51 |





