








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1331 | 48% |
| Smokes | 510 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 598 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 318 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,232 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | rynoh | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | yarp | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | null | 51% | 173 |
| #5 | onlystonei | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rynoh | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | yarp | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | null | 51% | 173 |
| #5 | onlystonei | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | jaybird | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | null | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | onlystonei | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | rynoh | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | jaybird | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 515 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #2 | null | 407 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | rynoh | 154 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hedge | 93 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | onlystonei | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | +4.19 | 53 | 57 |
| #2 | yarp | +1.99 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | rynoh | +0.44 | 40 | 32 |
| #4 | xCactusgod23x | -0.39 | 25 | 35 |
| #5 | null | -0.60 | 39 | 52 |





