








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 65,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22230 | 34% |
| Smokes | 21561 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 13986 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7466 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,624,330 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xCactusgod23x | 53% | 85 |
| #2 | rynoh | 53% | 249 |
| #3 | Hedge | 52% | 444 |
| #4 | null | 50% | 465 |
| #5 | jaybird | 46% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rynoh | 53% | 249 |
| #3 | Hedge | 52% | 444 |
| #4 | null | 50% | 465 |
| #5 | jaybird | 46% | 257 |
| #6 | onlystonei | 45% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | 26 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | null | 25 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | rynoh | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | onlystonei | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | jaybird | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | 1433 | 0.16 | 35 min |
| #2 | rynoh | 1005 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #3 | null | 984 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #4 | onlystonei | 550 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | jaybird | 264 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | +2.17 | 49 | 54 |
| #2 | yarp | +2.05 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | rynoh | -0.10 | 42 | 28 |
| #4 | xCactusgod23x | -0.86 | 21 | 32 |
| #5 | null | -1.58 | 36 | 47 |





