








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8527 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5890 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6460 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5845 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,151,911 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rynoh | 58% | 149 |
| #2 | null | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | jaybird | 52% | 151 |
| #4 | yarp | 52% | 444 |
| #5 | onlystonei | 45% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rynoh | 58% | 149 |
| #2 | null | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | jaybird | 52% | 151 |
| #4 | yarp | 52% | 444 |
| #5 | onlystonei | 45% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 32 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | rynoh | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | onlystonei | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | null | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | jaybird | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 2329 | 0.27 | 56 min |
| #2 | rynoh | 574 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | null | 248 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | onlystonei | 197 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | jaybird | 138 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | +2.00 | 48 | 56 |
| #2 | yarp | +1.00 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | rynoh | -0.59 | 38 | 26 |
| #4 | jaybird | -1.82 | 37 | 50 |
| #5 | null | -1.91 | 46 | 49 |





