








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4986 | 19% |
| Smokes | 11291 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 4595 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5123 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,471,638 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaybird | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Hedge | 45% | 191 |
| #3 | yarp | 45% | 282 |
| #4 | null | 41% | 176 |
| #5 | rynoh | 32% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaybird | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Hedge | 45% | 191 |
| #3 | yarp | 45% | 282 |
| #4 | null | 41% | 176 |
| #5 | rynoh | 32% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Hedge | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | null | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | rynoh | 6 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 1468 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #2 | Hedge | 531 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | null | 351 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | rynoh | 210 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | jaybird | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedge | +3.74 | 54 | 54 |
| #2 | yarp | +3.25 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | rynoh | +0.86 | 48 | 32 |
| #4 | jaybird | +0.66 | 46 | 49 |
| #5 | null | -0.07 | 44 | 49 |





