








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 881 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4725 | 19% |
| Smokes | 8614 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5740 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6373 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,196,577 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Hedge | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | null | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | kencar17 | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | NotPhobic123 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yarp | 1540 | 0.29 | 38 min |
| #2 | NotPhobic123 | 618 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | null | 490 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Hedge | 476 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | rynoh | 466 | 0.24 | 8 min |





