








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




116 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10616 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10793 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 12883 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 10012 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,081 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2079 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poplockdropit | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | DirtMcGirt | 61% | 56 |
| #3 | GAZ | 57% | 102 |
| #4 | Dogzilla | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | DuneKoon | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | BUNYON | 46% | 76 |
| #13 | GREEN BASTARD | 43% | 49 |
| #14 | η♡να | 39% | 157 |
| #15 | Robby | 38% | 79 |
| #16 | Snacky1YT | 36% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 104 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | dubois.charles | 44 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | η♡να | 40 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Snacky1YT | 29 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | Robby | 26 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dubois.charles | 2108 | 0.16 | 51 min |
| #2 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 1219 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #3 | DisKineKteD | 524 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | η♡να | 254 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | BUNYON | 253 | 0.17 | 7 min |





