








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1234 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1698 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,043 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3rpboy | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | dubois.charles | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | GarriSin | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dubois.charles | 326 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | T3rpboy | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 172 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | DirtMcGirt | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | GarriSin | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |





