








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4150 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3165 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2345 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 532 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,261 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kronch ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა | 44% | 25 |
| #2 | Papiichulo | 44% | 240 |
| #3 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 39% | 121 |
| #4 | Little Michael Jackson | 39% | 80 |
| #5 | Aspen | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 39% | 121 |
| #4 | Little Michael Jackson | 39% | 80 |
| #5 | Aspen | 38% | 29 |
| #6 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 35% | 176 |
| #7 | Pandito | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papiichulo | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Little Michael Jackson | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Aspen | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papiichulo | 372 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Little Michael Jackson | 301 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 229 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Aspen | 126 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 114 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maybe Egg | +3.06 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | Little Michael Jackson | +1.64 | 54 | 51 |
| #3 | Kronch ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა | -0.04 | 47 | 45 |
| #4 | Papiichulo | -0.46 | 47 | 31 |
| #5 | Aspen | -2.58 | 30 | 59 |





