








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3045 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3372 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1334 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,471 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoom | 46% | 28 |
| #2 | meese | 46% | 74 |
| #3 | Egg | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | Papiichulo | 42% | 407 |
| #5 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | 41% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maybe Egg | 28 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Papiichulo | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Pandito | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papiichulo | 720 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | Maybe Egg | 408 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Pandito | 194 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Egg | 114 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | 68 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maybe Egg | +4.39 | 72 | 48 |
| #2 | Egg | +3.31 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Papiichulo | +1.33 | 56 | 38 |
| #4 | meese | +0.35 | 75 | 15 |
| #5 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | -0.65 | 27 | 19 |





