








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 777 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1098 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2509 | 15% |
| Smokes | 8946 | 54% |
| HE Grenades | 3968 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1082 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,452,534 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Michael Jackson | 1111 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | Uree | 594 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #3 | Maybe Egg | 519 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kronch ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა | 476 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | Aspen | 312 | 0.19 | 8 min |





