








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4198 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2525 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1664 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,646 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Italian Turtle | 54% | 68 |
| #2 | crazy | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | Gryph0n | 46% | 197 |
| #5 | Wraith | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wraith | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | 77th | Ed | 44% | 185 |
| #7 | [No. 16] Highlander | 43% | 95 |
| #8 | Section | 41% | 139 |
| #9 | Rave | 39% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Section | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | 77th | Ed | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | crazy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Rave | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 1246 | 0.29 | 33 min |
| #2 | 77th | Ed | 761 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | Section | 635 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #4 | Italian Turtle | 181 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | crazy | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Section | +2.41 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | i love my new pet Scimmione | +2.20 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | Matt | +0.72 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | Italian Turtle | +0.24 | 60 | 60 |
| #5 | [No. 16] Highlander | +0.22 | 84 | 54 |





