








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 400 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5499 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5211 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3701 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5569 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,727,937 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 723 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazy | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | Italian Turtle | 49% | 116 |
| #3 | Rave | 49% | 142 |
| #4 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | Gryph0n | 48% | 347 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gryph0n | 48% | 347 |
| #6 | VHA1831 | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | [No. 16] Highlander | 45% | 131 |
| #8 | Matt | 44% | 185 |
| #9 | Section | 42% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Section | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Matt | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Italian Turtle | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 2083 | 0.28 | 59 min |
| #2 | Matt | 987 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #3 | Section | 737 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #4 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 410 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | Italian Turtle | 363 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Section | +2.11 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | i love my new pet Scimmione | +0.75 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | [No. 16] Highlander | +0.62 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | Rave | +0.53 | 71 | 40 |
| #5 | Italian Turtle | +0.52 | 62 | 62 |





